


red subtitles

by hexaS (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ?? it'll be pretty sad at points ahahaha, Gen, Loneliness, Pre-Sburb, Sadstuck, and things are sad. tragic, dirk is really fucking lonely okay, he finds videos left for him from dave, i mean come on he's lonely it's tragic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-18 23:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7334209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hexaS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the day he turns thirteen, Dirk discovers a little orange USB stick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay holy fuck. I was just hanging out the washing on the clothes line this morning, and suddenly got it into my head that I REALLY needed to write some Alpha Dave and Dirk stuff. I've been mulling over the idea of Dave leaving videos for Dirk, and then I had a few ideas.  
> I just really wanted to write about Dave leaving videos to keep Dirk company, okay. Also putting subtitles in just in case.
> 
> In this fic, Dirk can understand speech and can talk himself, but he's bad with all forms of verbal communication and reads and writes a lot faster than he listens and speaks. He's not good with understanding things when people talk fast or with unfamiliar accents, and when he talks, he has to sound out each word and become familiar with it first.
> 
> After the first chapter, Dirk relies more on the subtitles, but when he's actually listening to the words being spoken, I write the lines as if Dave is speaking, like I do in the first chapter.
> 
> [EDIT: update 28/11/16 this is gonna be rewritten at some point there's so much of it that just plain sucks/doesnt work. dont read this]

_A journey has to begin somewhere, but it also has to end._

[000.]

It's his thirteenth birthday. He wakes up, not entirely sure of the time since his internal body clock is basically perpetually fucked, but it doesn't matter. He flicks open his laptop, which is slightly battered and overused, parts having been replaced and modified ever since he'd gotten his hands on the proper tools.

He realises that it is his birthday.

A small part of him realises that hey, perhaps he should be a little more excited. He's thirteen and all that. Fucking hooray.

No.

The days won't get any longer or shorter, or any more exciting, as long as he's stuck out here in the middle of literally fucking nowhere, surrounded by masses of ocean, a dead city, and somehow a great Wi-Fi connection.

He disregards this, and graciously accepts the birthday wishes from his three friends. Roxy makes some light-hearted promise to find him in the future and hug the ever-loving shit out of him.  
Somehow, he doesn't doubt it.

He's digging through boxes again, though, searching for some tool or a lost part or something, maybe for some kind of other snack- he doesn't even remember at this point, and then he finds it.

At first glance, he thinks it's just a little plastic toy. Which, to say the very least, is pretty fucking weird. It's one of his favourite shades of apricot orange, and he thinks the surface is rubber. A little plastic toy in the shape of an orange bird. There's a clear split in the object, though, tracing the circumference of what would be the bird's neck, and he realises he can pull it apart.

It's a USB stick. An orange, bird-shaped USB stick.

Hell. Fucking. Yes.

He's not entirely sure why he's so excited about the discovery of this mysterious object, but if there's one thing he knows about this entire apartment: everything here was left for him by his elusive not-quite guardian. Dave Strider.

It's not as if he's never seen a USB stick before. He has plenty of his own, generic plastic USBs, part of a collection of odd paraphernalia he'd found amongst the piles of stuff accumulated in the apartment.

But something about the object strikes him as special; it is, frankly, his favourite colour, which was probably not enough to garner such a reaction from him, but he is a barely-teenager. On his birthday.  
Also, the fact that it was a bird. Hm.

He knows he should examine it first, check for viruses or whatever shit could be hoarded on the USB, but his curiosity gets the better of him as he straight-up jams it into his computer, opening the USB-allocated folder, and is met with a list of files. Videos, to be precise.

Holy shit.

They're simply numbered, from 0 to 413, and Dirk can barely contain his excitement anymore.

Tentatively, he opens the first file.

His heart nearly stops.

It's Dave, the Dave Strider he has come to adore in the past thirteen years, except he's not in a formal suit and tie like he normally is for his interviews, and he's facing the camera, his profile being recorded as if on a laptop webcam. Which, he supposes, is exactly what is going on.

Dirk has never seen Dave like this. He's scraped together everything he could find on the Internet, every interview and article and photograph, and he's not going to deny how desperate he really is, because he's a fucking socially-deprived teenager who hasn't had a single ounce of human contact since the day he was born, essentially.

On the screen, he looks young, probably still towards the beginning of his career in fame. There's sunlight leaking in through a window on his left, casting warm shadows and giving everything a soft, midday tint, and Dirk is enamoured immediately.

He watches as Dave nods, and clears his throat. Lines of red text begin to appear towards the bottom of the screen in blocky letters, without capitalisation or much punctuation, and Dirk realises with a pang that this is probably how his Bro used to text.  
It hurts.

"So, I guess I'm gonna start doing this, huh."

The first line comes up.

TG: so i guess im gonna start doing this huh

Dirk doesn't really question the formatting of the subtitles. If anything, it's very Dave. He enjoys the feeling of imagining his bro contacting him like this, talking to him in such a comfortable way, texting and typing out walls of red text of his famous rambling metaphors to read through later.

In the video, Dave pauses.

"Welp. I have no idea when you're gonna find this, I mean, I figured a USB was a little more compact than, like, a DVD or whatever and probably a lot more convenient. For me, at least. Um. Yeah, I better put in subtitles just in case. Does that make sense? Uh, I don't really know how growing up all those years into the future will affect you, but. Fuck. Um, I'm not very good at this, am I?"

Dirk has to pause, his heart is beating so fast, and fuck. This is real. His guardian had left him something, some form of acknowledgement other than the apartment and all the shit inside it.

Dave was right about the subtitles, though- Dirk could recognise speech and understand it, but having grown up without regular verbal interaction, speaking and listening was harder for him, and subtitles helped. A lot.

He unpauses the video. At this point he's not really listening, just reading the subtitles and taking in the tones of his voice, low and smooth in comparison to Dirk's clipped syllables.

"Rose told me that we gotta be prepared for whatever shit might happen since we can't be there in the future. And I guess I wouldn't be surprised if speaking was a hard thing, since I can't vouch for how well you'll learn in terms of verbal communication through whatever programs and videos I left there for you. Uh. I guess it'd be better if you found this when you're older, but whatever. Once you find this you'll probably watch them all anyway.

Well, yeah. I. Shit, this is hard. Just. Dirk."

His heart leaps as he hears his name, for the first time from someone else who's actually alive.

"I'm not too good at the whole parent thing, or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be, and you know that. Hell, you've seen the messages and shit I've been leaving around the place. You're a smart kid, you know what I'm getting at. But," he shifts around in his seat and slides the familiar aviators up onto his head, and holy fucking shit, his eyes are red, and this is the first time he's ever seen his Bro's eyes.

"I'm your Bro. I'm a shit parent, and I've always been a bro rather than a dad, fuck that's weird, but anyway. Uh. Yeah. Where was I going with this again?"  
Dirk has to laugh at this point, and it is completely foreign to him, seeing his Bro act any differently to the impossibly calm, expressionless Hollywood director Dave Strider he's come to know all too well.

"I guess this first video is just to, you know. Say hi. And fuck, kid, I want you to know that I'd do fucking anything to be able to be there with you. Raise you and shit. You know? Love ya and all that."

He breathes in, controlled and heavy, and his red gaze flits around, settling back onto the camera.

"By the way, birds are the fucking shit, bro. And I hope you like orange." He smiles a little, and fuck, Dirk has never seen Dave smile like that, so honest and genuine and earnestly youthful, and he allows his own face to pull into a little smile.

And that's the end of the first video.

The line of red text lingers in his mind for a while.

TG: love ya and all that

 

Dirk decides right there and then that birds are fucking great.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday to you  
> happy birthday to you  
> happy birthday dear dirky  
> happy birthday to you

[001.]

His heart is still stammering in his chest after he leans back into his chair, fingers netted together, and holy fucking shit if this isn't the best birthday present he'd ever realistically dreamt about.

He chastises himself for being so desperate, because that's not cool.

Play it cool, Strider. Do what your bro would have wanted. Keep it ironic.

He doesn't rush to play the next tape, the one labelled '001', rather, he quickly clicks open his Pesterchum window to contact Roxy.

\-- timaeusTestified [ TT ] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] --

TT: Hey, Rox.  
TG: yoo dirky  
TG: to wgat do i ow ethe pleasure?  
TT: Roxy, it's still only the morning and you said you'd try not to become inebriated today, are you really that drunk?  
TG: nah not really actually just habit  
TT: Habit.  
TG: yeah  
TT: ... Alright. That aside, I have a question for you.  
TG: go ahead?  
TT: Your mother left you messages, right? In the same way that my Bro left around various coloured sticky notes which have long-since lost their adhesive qualities?  
TG: uh yeah  
TG: she left notes but theyre more like  
TG: uh  
TG: small letters  
TG: why?  
TT: I see.  
TT: Well, today, I was just fucking around, looking for new stuff or something. You know, fossicking on your birthday is a thing to do.  
TT: Anyway, I happened to find a USB stick in the shape of an orange bird.  
TG: ooooh  
TG: that sounds mysterious  
TG: *wonk*  
TT: It's a regular USB, Roxy.  
TG: then whats got ur panties in a twist?  
TT: It has videos on it.  
TG: porn?  
TT: What the fuck, Rox. Why would my brother leave a portable device containing porn sitting in an apartment occupied solely by a kid?  
TT: Not to mention the fact that I could have gotten hold of it at any time, such as when I was, like, six or some shit.  
TG: im joking omg dirkyy  
TG: so it wasnt porn  
TG: it was from ur bro tho?  
TT: Yes. It contains videos of him. Presumably.  
TT: I only watched the first one before messaging you. They're numbered from 0 to 413. There are precisely 414 videos on it.  
TG: holy shit that usb must have so much storage space  
TT: I suppose so, but that doesn't really matter. The videos don't seem to be too long on average.  
TG: so theyre videos of ur bro  
TG: like  
TG: talkin to you?  
TT: Yes. I'm assuming the rest are also of him. He basically just said hi.  
TG: nice  
TT: Yeah. But holy shit, Rox, I can't believe I didn't find them sooner.  
TG: whats his voice like  
TT: Haven't you heard it before? You know where to find the interviews, they're all over the internet.  
TG: yeah but  
TG: hes always so  
TG: monotone  
TG: like  
TG: keeping up whole strider cool thing  
TT: I guess.  
TT: I'm going to watch a few more and I'll get back to you, okay?  
TT: I'm guessing you haven't found anything similar within your house, but I doubt Rose would have left you without more than just a handful of small letters.  
TG: yeah  
TG: okay seeya dirky  
TT: Later, Rox.

\-- timaeusTestified [ TT ] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] --

 

Well, fuck.

Dirk sighs and leans back again. That was a terrible idea; he feels immensely guilty for rubbing his discovery in her face. Roxy might be impossibly cheerful and seemingly endless amounts of optimistic, but Dirk knows that she's just as lonely as he is.

He hopes he can find something good to tell her from the future videos. Dave was good friends with Rose, after all. There might be something he lets slip.

Offhandedly, he wonders how long the videos are, cumulatively. Something tells him it's all kinds of unhealthy, watching hours' worth of footage, end-to-end, even if there's no-one to tell him to stop.

He opens the video labelled '001'.

It's night-time now; Dirk can tell because there's no sunlight streaming through the window- just the gentle light of a lamp standing in the background.

Dave's face comes into view, his arms resting on the desk, and he props up his shades again.

This time, Dirk decides not to struggle to comprehend his words, rather, he just reads the subtitles and soaks in his brother's voice.

TG: hey  
TG: so it's only been a few hours since i recorded the first one but i thought of some stuff i wanted to say  
TG: you probably don't know this but i'm pretty forgetful so i told myself to do this before i forget  
TG: rose said that she'd stay out of the videos mostly  
TG: i think she's gonna do something else for roxy  
TG: speaking of which, how is she?  
TG: i hope you're taking care of each other  
TG: fuck if it's not lonely

At this point, he stops and bites his lip.  
"...Sorry."

TG: anyways  
TG: i thought i'd sub these myself, do them in my signature red text  
TG: cherry red, heh  
TG: i think i'm gonna do quite a few of these videos  
TG: maybe one for each year separating us  
TG: i heard from rose it's a lot

"Four hundred and thirteen fucking years," mutters Dirk under his breath.

TG: in case you wanted to know today is your birthday  
TG: happy birthday bro. it's also my birthday too, i have a cake here

He's holding up a cake, and it... surprisingly doesn't look too bad. Simple chocolate, soft icing and a badly-written happy birthday bro in red, orange and white icing over the top.

TG: i made it myself, rose is kind of far away at the moment and no fucking way am i even TOUCHING a packet cake mix ever, fuck the batterbitch  
TG: i wish i could share it with you  
TG: haha is that too sappy maybe i'm getting old  
TG: chill i'm not going to sing happy birthday for you that shit's awkward  
TG: trust me all it brings is about fifteen seconds of out of tune pain and impatient waiting till you can eat your fucking cake  
TG: anyway lemme just put this away i'm scared i'll accidentally get icing on my laptop or something if i keep it here

He stands, taking the plate and the cake off screen.

When he comes back, he's humming. His voice is quiet, mellifluous and all too pleasant, although the tune is unfamiliar.

"Well, damn, I guess I started humming it accidentally."

Dave's face is pulled into the widest grin. "I'm gonna sing it for you, gotta bless you with my awesome voice."

He sings, and Dirk realises with a start that this is the Happy Birthday song, a song which he'd somehow never become familiar with, at all, and he realises the extent of his loneliness with a tiny pang as Dave draws out the 'y' in 'Dirkyyyyyyy'.

TG: i just realised you're probably not even watching this on your birthday  
TG: oops  
TG: happy birthday, little bro  
TG: i think i gotta sleep now. take care of yourself for me

Dirk doesn't bother to keep watching the screen or read the lines of red text through his blurry vision.  
With a swallow, he closes the video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know what the fuck this was  
> expect something more eloquent once i've dried my tears
> 
> i can't write roxy, i know, i'm bad with typos and her character in general. i also made dave have punctuation because it physically pains me to write lots of text without using apostrophes.
> 
> I was just writing shitty prose and i realised dirk probably never had anyone sing happy birthday for him and he'd probable have never heard the song before pretty much
> 
> sorry
> 
> longer chapters will come at some point maybe
> 
> thanks for the positive feedback though, i'm really glad you guys love these two as much as i do :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dave tries his hardest, and so does dirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys!! i'm sorry it's been, what, a month? I've been a little shaky as to how to continue with this story (i have an ending planned but nothing in between) so thank you all so much for your support and patience!! this story has gotten an amazing amount of nice comments and the like already and i'm a little overwhelmed ;; i'm very glad!!

[002.]

Dirk Strider doesn't like crying.

It's a waste of bodily fluids, for one. Although, it's not like he can really say anything about wasting water, considering the length of his showers.

He doesn't like crying because it makes him feel so open.  
It's a pretty foolish sentiment, considering he's completely isolated and the only things in his apartment are a pair of robots. He makes a note to figure out a good way to construct a proper, sentient AI later on.

He hates crying because it makes him feel weak, like everyone will be disappointed in him, fuck you Dirk, why can't you just deal with it, get over it, _stop-_

He's supposed to be the ever-collected, elusive Dirk Strider. Well, at least it's not like there's anyone much else around him to judge. Hahaha.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] began pestering timaeusTestified [ TT ] --

TG: yooo dirky  
TG: i already said this but hppy bday  
TG: 13 huh  
TG: finally teenagers, dont even have to lie bout your age for internet forums anymore heh  
TT: Hey again, Roxy.  
TT: Thanks, I suppose. You already told me most of this earlier, though.  
TG: yeah but  
TG: come on dont u wanna do somethin  
TG: you might be a genius but were still just kids you know  
TT: It's  
TT: I  
TT: It's fine.  
TG: u okay there dirky?  
TT: Yeah, just.  
TT: My Bro's videos have been proving him to be different in contrast to my previous perceptions of him, is all.  
TT: Or something.  
TG: in a good way or?  
TT: Yeah. I  
TT: ...  
TT: He did mention something about Rose preparing something else for you, though, so I figured I'd tell you that.  
TT: It doesn't seem quite like Rose's style to create videos, though, but I'm certain she's left you something.  
TG: i wonder what it is  
TG: i wonder where it is  
TT: Don't worry, Rox, you'll definitely find it.  
TT: I'm pretty certain about that one.  
TG: yeah :)  
TG: are u sure ur ok tho?  
TG: you seem kinda out of it :/  
TT: I'm fine. Just  
TT: Just a tiny bit lonely is all.  
TG: awww  
TG: im right here u kno  
TT: I know. Thanks, Roxy.  
TG: i wish i could just zoom over there and hug u :(  
TT: Haha, well, it's the thought that counts. Your concerns are very much appreciated.  
TT: I think it's high time I did something today, other than sitting on my ass and watching sentimental videos and talking to you guys. Got stuff to do and all that.  
TG: yeah okay im gonna talk to janey  
TG: im here at any time tho ok  
TG: love u  
TT: Love you too, Rox.

\-- timaeusTestified [ TT ] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [ TG ] --

Dirk closes his laptop and stands to find his fishing rods. It's probably best that he take a break, anyway.

 

-

It's a few days until Dirk watches any more of the short clips on the USB. They were mostly pushed aside from the forefront of his mind as he began sorting through the mess accumulated around the apartment; once he started a job, he would keep going until he finished completely.

A small part of him wanted to keep the videos, make them last as long as he could. It made him feel slightly childish, but he brushed those thoughts away quickly.

It's night-time when he next decides to slide off the head of the bird (he regards the whole 'decapitation' affair with some small amount of amusement) and slip the USB into his computer again.

He watches a few in succession this time, starting at 002.

The first one has a noticeable time difference between the previous one.

TG: hey  
TG: sorry it's been like three weeks  
TG: it's christmas right now and rose is chilling with me because we're both lonely fuckers and she told me to keep a regular log so here i am  
TG: this is sorta becoming like a diary for me oops  
TG: but that'd be weird because i ain't spilling my emotional baggage out on video only for my lil bro to watch that's horrifying  
TG: sorry if that's what you were hoping for, heh  
TG: anyway it's been pretty busy for the past few weeks, got into the process of the filming and everything  
TG: been trying to make things so that i can convey all the messages i want ya know

Dirk knows all too well; he's spent the past thirteen years watching all of his Bro's movies and analysing them relentlessly for their subliminal messages and scrounging out every little detail he can. His admiration, frankly, knows no bounds.

TG: also started getting a bit more stuff set in the apartment, i bought the entire building for you so that i wouldn't have to bother with the neighbours

He smiles, briefly.

TG: oh yeah merry christmas  
TG: i don’t know what you like real well but i know you're real smart so i'm trying to think of things i should leave for you  
TG: whatever i leave there, i hope it's all useful for you  
TG: the batterwitch has some seriously nasty drones and all that jazz going on in rose's visions so i think i'm gonna leave some things to make robots and shit  
TG: rose keeps reminding me about what i should and shouldn't do and whew i really suck at this don't i  
TG: i know that you probably have some real great friends  
TG: heck I know you have a bunch so  
TG: do good for them ok  
TG: look I don't remember that much about the game but I know that it's fucked up  
TG: really fucked up  
TG: so ya gotta keep at it  
TG: it's all chill little bro  
TG: uh  
TG: remember to eat and sleep and all that  
TG: I mean not like I do that terribly well myself but  
TG: you know your health is important so keep at it bro  
TG: you know what they always say don't do drugs stay in school and all that crap  
TG: I mean school sucked anyway and i ain't leaving drugs around in the apartment of a child so

He flashes a grin, and it's still unfamiliar; a crooked, wide smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and making his eyes light up, and it's different, vastly different from seeing carefully crafted news videos and interviews from the internet.

He falls asleep that night with lines of red text permeating his vision, a sun-warmed grin and thoughts of what it would be like, growing up with Dave as an actual older brother.

-

Over the next few days, Dirk sifts through a couple more videos. From the general content and Dave's appearance within the clips, he deduces that it's still quite early in his Bro's filmmaking career, and he's still in his early to mid-twenties. From what he's managed to scour out in the archives of the internet, the confrontation against the Batterwitch happened when Rose and Dave were in around their mid-thirties.

God.

How horrible would it be, living each day and counting down to your inevitable death? He wonders how much Rose actually knew, how much of it she told Dave and how much Dave gathered beforehand.

Dirk laughs at the irony.

TG: aight so you're probably all curious about me or my life or something  
TG: I hope that doesn't sound too self-centred but yeah  
TG: I mean I bet the internet doesn't really say much about me haha  
TG: wow fuck im making this awkward and there's only one of me and you're hundreds of years in the future how even  
TG: alright anyway how do I do this  
TG: 'hi im dave and I like apple juice and convoluted metaphors'  
TG: fuck no  
TG: ok imma talk about rose instead is that weird  
TG: she's cool she's basically my sister and we've known each other for ages  
TG: she came up to me all like are you dave strider and gives me this smirk and I'm like, I know her, she's that girl from my dreams  
TG: and that sounds all romantic and shit in the complete wrong context but nope I ain't even going there anyway so we kinda just grew up like siblings  
TG: we stuck together throughout high school too  
TG: and then she started making actual novels from her fucked up wizard porn fics and by some probably literal divine intervention my shitty-ass comics got picked up to be made into movies  
TG: and here we are  
TG: bein famous and all that shit  
TG: trying to spread the word about how fucked up betty crocker is  
TG: heh

His laugh is more like a huff; sarcastic and slightly troubled. For once, he's still wearing his shades, though Dirk has gotten used to seeing him without them. He'd said previously that he basically only ever takes them off to record the videos, shower, and sleep.

So basically, exactly like Dirk.

On the screen, he pushes up the shades with the back of his wrist, rubbing his eyes.

"G'night."

With a yawn, Dirk switches off the computer and goes to bed, mind laced with red-dyed metaphors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope it wasn't too bad. writer's block is serious yo. i actually really love coding pesterlogs right now. Dunno why.  
> anyway i made a writing blog recently and i'll be keeping it updated on fic progress and the likes. i'm also taking prompts and possibly requests so if you have anything you want me to include in this fic or any ideas go on ahead to [synodicatalyst!](synodicatalyst.tumblr.com) I'm a little stuck for ideas for the videos so yeah, feel free to chat or anything!
> 
> That's where you should contact me if you're wondering what's going on with my writing, yo.
> 
> I also post my homestuck doodles and stuff on there, and i might take a few tentative requests.
> 
> finally, some shameless advertising: i drew some pixel sprites of dave and dirk and am awaiting requests for other (possible) characters. take a look [here!](http://synodicatalyst.tumblr.com/post/147043390341/hexa-s-some-sparkly-pixel-striders-theyre)  
> thanks for the support as always!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you're enjoying this. There'll probably be no shippy stuff, since this is just about Dave and Dirk. Feel free to leave comments and stuff! I really love talking to you guys. also contact me on tumblr at [synodicatalyst!](synodicatalyst.tumblr.com)
> 
> ... I'm still trying to find ways to incorporate my strange prose into writing fics with lots of dialogue and action like this one, because it's hard. wow.
> 
> I'm having fun with this, though, the idea of Dave subbing his own videos, but in lines of text like he does in Pesterchum. Something about that strikes me as cute.
> 
> ... also poor dirky. I feel so sorry for him.


End file.
